Fore!:

If there's one thing I hate more than street mimes, it's pretentious "performance artists." As you undoubtedly know by now, "street magician" David Blaine is hanging over the Thames River in London for 44 days in an effort to...well, nobody knows exactly. What they do know, however (at least the Londoners), is that they absolutely hate this guy's stinking guts. Not even two weeks into it, the good people of London have made it their mission to torture this putz in any way possible until he climbs down and leaves them alone.

Most recently:

On Tuesday a man was arrested for allegedly attempting to cut the New Yorker's water supply. Eggs have been thrown at the 30-year-old's box and he has been the target of a golfer aiming at him from Tower Bridge.

This is outrageous. It's like you can't even hang over a major metropolitan area near a river in your underwear in a plexiglass box in peace anymore.

I'm thinking of cashing in my life's savings just so that I can go over there and throw something at him before it's too late.