Monday, January 16, 2006

Take Away My Shoelaces

Dear Fellow Bloggers,

Finally, after a long search, I've found something in the blogosphere that's even more riveting than blogging about blogging. What is this newfound, incomparable treasure, you may ask? Why, it's blogging about the technical side of blogging. Blogging about the way your blog works.

Sure, it was interesting when you told us about the 14-part series you were planning to post about the role of blogging in the postmodern, deconstructionist world--planning just as soon as you could get a good break from your hectic schedule and really give it the scrupulous attention we've become unable to live without from you.

But wouldn't it be even more interesting to tell us, at length, about how your blog works best on Mozilla Firefox browsers and how you're switching over to Moveabletype 3.2 because you were finding the previous system to be time-consuming and unworkable?

Are you thinking about switching commenting services? I mean, seriously--what could be more fascinating? Wait, I know: A poll! Don't just change the look of your blog willy-nilly. Take a days-long poll on whether you should use 10 or 11 point fonts! Can't decide on whether the shadow behind your blog title should be mauve or coral? Run a survey! Don't let even the tiniest alteration to your template go un-publicly angsted over. Experimenting with a new server or hosting company? Tell us about it! But please--don't be stingy with the details. This stuff is fascinating.

Whatever you do to your blog, never lose sight of the fact that America is interested in every tiny detail. They can't sleep unless they know that your new RSS feed shouldn't cause them any trouble. You are the center of the universe, and you need to start acting like it.

John Rabe
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