A Kick In The Grass

Okay, the baseball stuff has pretty much killed traffic here this week, so we'll change gears. To soccer!

Here's something that everybody needs to get straight: Soccer is a boring third-world snooze-fest that Americans will never, ever like to watch in any large numbers. The reason we have to bring it up again is because someone who evidently wants to bankrupt his business and flee the country as soon as possible (otherwise known as the owner of something called the Los Angeles Galaxy) signed English soccer star David Beckham for $250 million over five years. Evidently there was a drizzle, so the owner wasn't able to just set the money on fire.

Of course, that money would be better spent on, say, programs for teaching cats how to water ski. But I'm sure some dope somewhere is convinced that this copiously gelled semi-poofter and his Spice Girl wife are just the thing to finally kick soccer into high gear here in America. Not gonna happen. I'll bet you a Pele and raise you three Mia Hamms. But it will at least be something to talk about in five years when the Galaxy's owner runs out into the intersection to clean off my winshield for a lousy greenback.