There's just no way that someone as tone-deaf as Howard Dean becomes President of the United States in this day and age. It just doesn't happen. Think about it--who's the last elected president who was this graceless and artificial in his attempts to pander?

The most recent example, his laughable attempt to "Christianize" his campaign in an effort to appeal to the South, is just the latest in a string of disingenuous posturings. Unfortunately, none of them are attributable to some finely-honed sense of irony, since Dean is notably (and disturbingly) berift of a sense of humor.

His out-of-the-blue efforts to identify himself as a Christian will be meaningless to those whose brand of Christianity he evidently shares (the New England, congregationalist, non-supernatural, Unitiarian-leaning social gospellers) and it will actually repel the evangelical Christians to whom he ostensibly is trying to appeal with this gimmick.

Dean says, according to the Boston Globe:

''Christ was someone who sought out people who were disenfranchised, people who were left behind,'' Dean said. ''He fought against self-righteousness of people who had everything . . . He was a person who set an extraordinary example that has lasted 2000 years, which is pretty inspiring when you think about it.''

Oh yeah, that's going to get them fired up in the pews down in Louisville: Jesus set kind of an inspiring example--when you think about it.

Dean honestly doesn't seem to realize that such tonally awkward declarations ring as unadulterated counterfeit and patronizing balderdash (which, let's face it, it is) in the ears of those who believe that Christ was the divine, miracle-working messiah, offered as a sacrifice for the sins of the world.

He'll find out soon enough, and it will be fun to watch this aspect of his campaign fall flat on its misbegotten face.